Slap It, Son

Psalm 137 For The Year 2010

Alan Roxburgh shares this poem that was written by a participant at a conference he was leading a few years ago.

137 For 2010

In the midst of this crazy world I look around and
wonder what has happened.
How do I talk to a kid with a ring in his nose?
Does “The Old Rugged Cross” mean anything to him?
He asks me to sing a song about “my Jesus”.
From what I can tell he is from another planet,
or am I the stranger here?
I think it’s time to sell the wurlitzer.
So how do I tell Martians about Jesus,
when the only language I speak is 1955?
How do I write a headline for them
that doesn’t screw up the Good News?
I kind of wish it were the way it was,
but it’s not. So I need to figure out
how to sing the old lyrics
with a whole new tune.

Annoyed

Ok. So this is a bit of a “culture rant.” I haven’t ranted in a while, so now seemed as good a time as any. This will be a little stream-of-conscious.

I saw Miley Cyrus on an internet clip that was reporting on her bare-backed expose for Vanity Fair. [Side note: it also made the point that photographer Annie Leibovitz, the extremely talented photographer doing the photo shoot for Vanity Fair, is a lesbian. Well, DUH! No offense, but have you seen Annie Leibovitz? Men naturally flee her presence.] Anyway, little Hannah Montana was shown posing for the paparazzi at some public event, a camera flash going off every millisecond, and Billy Ray was standing around in the background as his fifteen-year-old daughter was being exploited for profit. Someone should have slapped his achy breaky skull. Word to Billy Ray: you’re sending your daughter down the path of future freakdom. You said you would protect her from that. You appear to be failing.

On a related note, I live in shame knowing that I can sing the theme song for the Hannah Montana show. I can name her TV brother and all of her TV friends. This should not be. I’m almost fourty-freakin’-three years old. Why can I sing a song performed by a fifteen-year-old? Any fifteen-year-old?

While I’m on the subject of the Disney Channel (one of two channels our TV seems to be tuned in to regularly), let me say that I hate the Naked Brothers Band. I’m sorry, but those boys have no talent. Well, apparently they have enough talent for the Nickalodeon people to put on their TV station. But in a day and age when television executives will produce a show where grown adults get outsmarted by average fifth graders, where Howie Mandel can host his own ridiculous show, and where Joanie Loves Chachi I suppose one more mind-numbing show is only to be expected.

I hate it that I, a grown man, actually know who Miranda Cosgrove is. And who Drake and Josh are.

I’m getting old. Maybe I’m already there. I hate the vacuous music of today. Pop. Hip-Hop. Country. Has it always been so absolutely void of anything meaningful to say? Has the musical talent always been this poor? Have you actually listened to a song by Britney Spears or Ashley Simpson? Or how about this. These are (some of) the lyrics to the number one song on the Top 40 chart right now. It is compellingly titled: Lollipop and it is performed by the legendary Lil Wayne (whoever the heck that is): Read more

24 Hours for Darfur

Old New School Evangelism

David Hayward reminds us that what we often think are the “tried and true” methods of evangelism aren’t so tried and true. They may actually seem a little absurd.

Check out more of his humor and art at his blog.

Tribute

I played one year of organized football when I was in the 7th or 8th grade. I was small. In the first practice I got run over by the running back who was a good six or eight inches taller than me. I did tackle him, it’s just that I ended up at the bottom of the pile. I didn’t even have a mouthpiece yet and the coach came over to me, laughing, and said, “Son, let’s not do that again until we get you a mouthpiece. We don’t want you losing any of your teeth or biting your tongue off.”

Though I didn’t play much - if you hadn’t played before you got to spend the first year sitting on the bench; it was just an unwritten rule - we never lost a game. I think we only got scored on once. But I was proud to be a part of that team.

Read more

Movies, Movies, Movies

I thought about putting this post under the category of “Art,” but considering some of the movies I’ve seen recently I decided against it. I have a friend who, when he sees a bad movie, will say, “I’ve seen better film on teeth.” While none that I’ve seen recently were quite that bad, they were not all so good. Not all of these are new releases, but just to give you an idea of some of the movies I’ve seen lately and what I thought of them, here you go:

I Am Legend

I thought that the acting, for the most part, was good in this movie. Of course, the acting, for the most part, was all done by Will Smith. The movie does have an interesting story line. A scientist has found a cure for cancer that is 100% effective. But apparently it ends up killing the vast majority of humanity, turning a host of others into cannibalizing freaks and leaves the rest to be eaten for dinner by those freaks. I won’t give away any more than that. But overall I did not like the movie. I suppose they did their job well in that they kept me tense and on the edge of my seat the whole time. But then that’s pretty much why I didn’t like it. I don’t like movies that make me feel like I’ve been through an hour-and-a-half workout by the time it’s over.

War Of The Worlds

This movie is a re-make of the H.G. Wells novel. On the whole I enjoyed the story line. I just didn’t like Tom Cruise very much. Of course, there is yet another scene in a Tom Cruise movie where he is running like lightning with every vein in his head popping out. I think that must be in his contract somewhere. “This movie shall have at least one scene where Tom runs like mad.” Anyway, aliens have invaded planet earth and they are exterminating humanity in vampire-like fashion, drinking their blood as they go. Tom is out to save his family, and as much of humanity as possible (except for the creepy guy who offers them refuge in his house. You can tell right away that this is not a man to be trusted). Once again, I will not give away the story, but I will say that this movie was decent, though I probably would have liked the book better.

Stardust

A young man makes a promise to a girl that he loves (who is rather shallow, yet pretty) that he would bring her a star if she would marry him. He travels into a magical world beyond the wall of his home town to do just that. But this star is also being pursued by three witches and a prince as well because she holds the promise of immortality and power within her heart. Stardust reminds me a little of one of my very favorite movies: The Princess Bride. I really enjoyed this one, though I really do wish that I could once, just once, see Michelle Pfeiffer do something different in a movie. Watching her I couldn’t tell if I was watching Stardust, Hair Spray or Batman Returns. Robert De Niro, on the other hand, was excellent and very entertaining.

Others I’ve seen and my recommendations:
The Bourne Ultimatum.

If you don’t like the Bourne movies then there’s just something wrong with you.

The Italian Job.

A little bit like Oceans 11 (or 12, or 13). I liked this one as well.

Horton Hears a Who.

I can’t say if this was really bad, but it was bad enough that I slept through a good portion of it - right there in the theater.

We Now Bring You This Important Sports Announcement

I want to take a minute to pump up the Sapulpa Lady Chieftains’ basketball team today.  The Lady Chieftains have only lost one game this season and will play in the second round of the state playoffs today.  Most are picking them to win the state 6A championship for the second year in a row.  I may take a trip down to the Ford Center in OKC this afternoon to watch them play.  Go Lady Chieftains!

Interlude

We interrupt the regularly scheduled blog topics for the following sports announcement:

I was incredibly disappointed in the lack of effort I saw from my beloved Sooners in the Fiesta Bowl.  Should we ever get another invitation to the Fiesta Bowl we should flee from Arizona as fast as we can.  I’ve been pretty speechless because I simply don’t understand how we could be so dominating of Missouri in the Big XII championship game and be so flat, uninspired and dominated in the Fiesta Bowl a month later.

However, this is not a game that I am interested in analyzing.  I don’t care about what-ifs or buts.  Therefore, I have determined that my only catharsis can come from laughing at and mocking my own beloved Sooners, if but for a short time.  With that in mind I offer you the following.

What do the OU Sooners and marijuana have in common?
They both get smoked in bowls.

Why does Bob Stoops eat Cheerios from a plate?
Because if he ate them from a bowl he’d lose them.

How do you make Sooner cookies?
Put them in a big bowl and beat them for three hours.

What do evergreens and Sooners have in common?
They both get lit up around Christmas time.

Ok.  I feel better now.

Meet George Jetson

How much would you be willing to pay for a vehicle that will get you 330 mpg?  No, my finger did not get stuck on the "3" and I did not misplace my decimal.  That’s three-hundred thirty miles per gallon.  Well, fancy yourself in this three-wheeled, one-seater with your single-cylinder putting some G-Forces on your lips to the tune of zero to sixty in eleven seconds! 
At that rate you’d better keep Rosie out of the passenger seat because she might start losing bolts left and right.  A half-a-day later you might even reach the top speed of 95 mph.

I wonder how many miles per gallon I’d get walking?  I’m crazy efficient, though I’m unsure of my emissions rating.  Seriously, I can’t wait to see one of these things on the road.

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